Nurturing My Son

What My Four-Month Breastfeeding Victory Has Taught Me and What I Still Have to Learn

I started to reflect and write this post when I accomplished my initial three-month goal, but the timing never presented itself to share. As the days went by, it almost felt like the timing was never right. Now as I revisit this entry, it looks awfully a lot different than when I started to write it because so much has changed since then. So little time, yet it almost feels like our world has been turned upside down or should I say a lot has risen to the surface for everyone to see.

I have a sense of overwhelming emotions as I reach a milestone. Breastfeeding itself is a journey that most don’t get to embark on for several reasons. Two times a mother, first time an exclusive breastfeeding mother, so saying this is new to me is an understatement. It has been:

  • 4 months of constantly being someone’s food supply day in and day out

  • 4 months of wanting to choose sleep instead of night-time feedings

  • 4 months of “should I eat this, or will the baby react”

  • 4 months of cracked, sore, and painful nipples

  • 4 months of “he’s still hungry, you should feed him”

  • 4 months of wondering when will this journey be over

But despite the challenges and obstacles, it has been:

  • 4 months of watching my son thrive and grow from something that only I could provide him

  • 4 months of realizing how powerful and majestic we as mothers are

  • 4 months of developing a bond so strong that only you can feel because no words are ever enough

  • 4 months of putting in the work to educate myself on all aspects of breastfeeding

  • 4 months of positive and uplifting support systems who constantly encourage you not to give up

  • 4 months of accomplished milestones because for every month I celebrate my son, I celebrate myself

As a mother, we want to do what is best for our child in all aspects. I am thankful that this time around I was able to make the conscious decision to breastfeed because it has been

proven that human milk has several benefits:

But as of lately, I feel like my reasons have changed. There has been a shift happening globally and it has opened my eyes to see how my people are being treated and perceived. So the next time someone asks me why I choose to breastfeed my son, I am learning that:

  • I choose this journey because this is the best way I know how to connect and nurture my baby

  • I choose this journey because this is a time of peace when the world seems so corrupt and chaotic

  • I choose this journey because this will forever be my son’s safe space where he feels the most love and support

  • I choose this journey because when my son stares into my eyes we exchange energy to strengthen one another for the battles to come

  • I choose this journey because, in a world that may never be able to receive him, I as his mama will forever hold him close

  • I choose this journey because one day my baby boy will no longer be seen as cute but rather a threat to society so it is my responsibility as his mother to affirm and reassure him that his life is worth every second that goes by and that his purpose is greater than all this noise

To all my black mamas out there – this journey isn’t easy, but it’s worth the fight to keep going. Cherish and hold on to these moments with our black babies to continuously nurture and nourish them, however which way you please. Your resilience and strength do not go unnoticed – I see you, I am you. No matter where you are in your journey, just know that your purpose is worth being celebrated, and if no one has told you today: I Am Proud of You.

Love & Light,